


If You Had Died...

by VanillaMoose



Category: No. 6 (Anime & Manga), No. 6 - Asano Atsuko
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Fights, M/M, Nezushi - Freeform, angsty, breakdown - Freeform, breakdowns, correctional facility, inukashi misses shion, jealous nezumi, jealous safu, nezumi blames himself, nezumi misses shion, no.6, safu finds out why shion changed, safu lived, shion died
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-08-27 12:37:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8402017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanillaMoose/pseuds/VanillaMoose
Summary: Alternate path of the No.6 story where Nezumi doesn’t realise Shion had run off to the correctional facility to save Safu until that annoying girl arrives at his door alone.





	1. Safu's arrival, Shion's departure

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I will try to update this regularly. I have a pretty good idea where this story will go so do not worry. This first chapter is mainly an introduction. Future chapters will be longer.

Safu turned her back to the Correctional Facility and clutched the sleeves of Shion’s jacket, which was hanging loosely over her shoulders. Tears stung her eyes and blurred her vision. She stumbled her way towards West Block, her shaky knees threatening to drop her into the dirt beneath her feet. Every limb on her body became a dead weight as her feet dragged the rest of her body through the orange light of the fading day. West Block was a couple hours away but Shion had used his dying moments to give Safu an address, as they both knew she wouldn’t be able to return to No.6. Her body shuddered in response to the thought of her childhood friend. Safu wanted to suppress her thoughts entirely so that she could function properly at the price of feeling empty. She’ll never make it to West Block if the thought of Shion clouds her vision any further and makes her legs any weaker.

Small, dirty shacks started dotting the horizon as Safu drew closer to West Block. Crickets hummed in the night as Safu was splashed with the weak moonlight. Safu felt empty, hollow and tired as she inched closer to the town. A bad but not unbearable odour stung her nose as she finally reached the town. Most of the building looked like they could crumble at any moment and Safu felt uneasy as she dragged herself further into the heart of West Block. A few stray dogs passed Safu, sniffing Shion’s jacket a little before they went bounding back the way they came. Safu could feel tears prick the corners of her eyes again as she tried to inhale Shion’s scent as well, but whatever familiar smell she was hoping for was completely overpowered by the stench of blood. Safu’s body felt hot as she realised how suspicious it looked to have a crying girl desperately wrapping herself in a blood-soaked jacket. Her heart pounded against her chest in anger, she had sustained very few injuries from their… her escape, Shion had lost his life. Safu violently shook her head trying to rid her mind of Shion once again to continue to function.

Safu’s heart sped up a little as the dogs who had taken interest in her before returned and followed her. Safu subconsciously sped up her walking pace but the dogs easily trotted behind her. More dogs joined them and stalked Safu through the streets of West Block. She tried to shake the dogs off, but not knowing the city at all made it difficult as well as West Block looked dangerous enough already. Finally Safu cut a corner to come face-to-face with a small, malnourished figure. The person has brown hair that passed their shoulders, completed with a stray strand hanging down the middle of their face. They wore a pair of jeans with on leg of the pants ripped off at the knee while the other leg of the pants reached halfway down their calf muscle. Their brown eyes analysed Safu carefully, but no one would perceive a girl who was crying while desperately hanging on to an oversized coat as dangerous. The strangers eyes fell on Shion’s coat that hung over her shoulders. Instinctively Safu stepped back, grasping the coat tighter than before but something flashed across their face… understanding? realisation? Whatever it was disappeared just as quickly as it appeared. They sighed.

“I’m sure being followed by a pack of dogs is unnerving, sorry.” The stranger said.

Safu wanted to say that it’s fine but it would be a complete lie.

 “…Okay…” was the only thing she mumbled in reply trying to control her shaky voice. “Do you know this address? I tried to find it but there aren’t many street signs here…”

The figure took the small slip of paper from her hands. Her eyes lit up with recognition then washed over with… pity?

“It’s probably not the best thing to go there now, I own a hotel so you can stay the night there, besides you’ll be needing rest after whatever happen to you today…”

The dogkeeper's eyes waited for Safu to explain why she was in such a state... but the girl only hummed sadly in agreement. The pack of dogs rushed past the figure to lead the way. They walked in silence, Safu walked slightly behind the unnamed stranger. _I thought West Block was a place for thieves and delinquents? Why is this person helping me?_ Many questions flew threw Safu’s mind but she was too tired and broken to focus on them for very long. There was a certain tension between the two teenagers. After what felt like hours of silence the stranger spoke.

“It was the correctional facility, wasn’t it?” they said with slight anger in their tone.

“Yeah.”

The stranger looked at the ground in frustration. Tears threatened to escape the corners of their eyes.

“We’d thought so…”


	2. The Address Leads to You...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Safu meets Rigika and a man who might be suffering even more than she is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this is still kind of an introduction but it's going to get a lot better from here.

_“Safu please… I came here to save you… don’t die here trying to save me…”_  
  
 _Safu’s racing thoughts drowned out Shion’s pleas as her hands fumbled with the medical instruments. Shion was lying on his back on the table in front of her. His chest barely moved as he struggled to stay conscious. Shion could only manage to pull in shallow of breathes as his blood spilled out over the hard hospital bed. Shion was dying. His red eyes, that had looked so familiar to Safu despite the change in colour, had lost their light. Safu could barely see through her own tears as she desperately tried to stitch close Shion wounds. Shion’s arms failed to tense due to the loss of blood as she continually pulled the thread through his skin. Her movements stiffened as panic took over her body. Safu jolted her hand back to the medical kit to retrieve more thread for Shion’s stitches, but missed and sent the medical kit crashing to the floor. It clattered across the floor. Panic forced her muscles to throw herself at the medical kit, desperation speeding her breathing up. Everything cut off as she felt two arms wrap around her waist. The wailing of sirens disappeared, the desperation that made her body tremble with fear disappeared._  
  
 _“SHION! STOP! WHATEVER YOU’RE ABOUT TO DO… STOP!”_  
  
 _Suddenly all the sound from the world around Safu returned at double the volume, the buzz of electricty, the sirens, the gunshots…_  
 _Shion didn’t even flinch at her desperate screams. He was carrying her somewhere but Safu was too caught up in trying to wriggle her way out of Shion’s grasp to notice. Suddenly banging on the locked hospital door._  
  
 _“You’re not dying here because I was too weak to continue…” he smiled to himself “…I’m a burden” he laughed lightly to himself._  
  
 _Safu had the feeling that he wasn’t talking about their current situation, but she didn’t have much time to comprehend the statement as Shion* dropped her down the hospital’s laundry chute. Safu screamed as her body tumbled down the short chute. She could hear everything: the door crashing open, the angry shouts of security guards and the single shot that fired. The gunshot echoed down the the chute and ripped through her head as she hit the ground. Shion was dead._  
  
Safu's body was drenched in sweat as she awoke from her nightmare… or rather memory. Safu had thought that sheer exhaustion would help her sleep through the night, but the torment of Shion’s death and the memory of the correctional facility haunted her throughout the night. Safu had used Shion’s coat as blanket but all it had done was suffocate her with the smell of blood, all of Shion’s scent had completely disappeared. Yesterday, she had been annoyed that the cold, hard and dirty floor didn’t help her sleep at all, but now she was terrified of the thought that she would have to sleep again in less than 24 hours. Sunlight was starting to spill through the the glassless windows and the cracks in the walls. Two dogs stirred on either side of her as the sunlight disturbed them from their sleep, eventually getting up and going to the strangers room, who explained that they go by the name of Inukashi. Inukashi had seemed reluctant in showing Safu to the address Shion had given her, but they eventually agreed to take her.  
  
West Block’s humidity clung to Safu’s skin as she walked with Inukashi in silence, a single chocolate hound obediently trotting at their side. The two silently shuffled through the twisting streets of the Western Block, Safu was walking slowly because she didn’t know West Block at all, but Inukashi seemed to have an air of nervousness hanging over them, causing them to walk painfully slowly. After a short while the two arrived at an old building.   
  
“This isn’t the place you want.” The dog keeper explained emotionlessly. “I’ll be right back.”  
  
After five minutes of shouting between Inukashi and a much deeper voice, the hotel owner returned with a much older, balding man. He introduced himself as Rikiga. Once again another set of eyes flickered straight to Shion’s coat and the same expression of recognition and then defeat washed over his features.  
“Let’s go.” Rikiga grumbled.  
  
The three of them now walked in silence. The old man displaying the anxiety they all felt as his shaking hands reached for his flask again, throwing his head back and downing the last of his booze. _Why are they nervous? Why did this man need to accompany us? Maybe this was a mistake. But why would Shion send me to someone dangerous? Why did Shion send me here at all? He obviously knew Inukashi and they seem nice enough… why not send me to them?_ Safu’s train of thought plummeted through her head and she was caught by surprise as the three stopped at the address Shion had sent her to. The three had gone down a short flight of stairs and they were currently underground but the light from outside was still able to reach them. Safu hesitated. There was something here that Shion had wanted her to see, someone Shion wanted her to meet. She knocked cautiously.   
  
“FUCK OFF INUKASHI!” a hoarse voice growled from behind the door.  
  
Safu flinched at the reaction.  
  
“They're not the only one here, Eve” Rikiga grunted unenthusiastically but the anxiety still slipped through into the short sentence.  
  
Safu jumped as the door in front of them was ripped openly by a tall, enraged figure. The dark strands of hair that had fallen out of his ponytail were evidence that this man had probably been running his hands through it anxiously. His body trembled as he stood in the doorway. Metallic grey eyes pierced Safu’s soul as she took in the mixture of dark circles from the lack of sleep and the puffy bags from the frequent crying episodes. His features harden, solidifying his anger as the same recognition flashed across this man’s face, but he wasn’t looking at Shion’s jacket, he was looking directly into her eyes.


	3. The first signs of conflict

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this chapter is very very short... I was having a bit of writers block for this chapter because this is kind of just the boring bit before it gets to the good part. I promise I shall try to make the future chapters longer.

Everything came crashing down at that point for Nezumi. The arrival of the strange Safu girl that had asked Shion to sleep with her in the most blunt way possible confirmed everything he feared. Shion was gone, his sleepless nights had not been his mind running away with anxiety, it was all true. Nezumi’s body burned with white-hot anger as he watched the brown haired girl cling selfishly to Shion’s coat. The despair that had pricked tears at the corners of his eyes had now disintegrated and was replaced with raw anger. Safu noticed Nezumi glaring holes into Shion’s coat and instinctively clutched it tighter. Silver eyes locked chocolate brown ones into a silent war between the two. Both teenagers stood their ground, not daring to be the first to break eye contact. Nezumi’s arms were crossed tightly in front of his chest and his sharp fingernails dug crescent moon shapes into his arms. Safu’s knuckles had gone white from desperately clutching at Shion’s coat, her eyes daring Nezumi to even consider taking it. The unspoken battle was interrupted when Inukashi faked a cough, but the intensity between the two hung in the tight atmosphere of the underground room.  
  
"That’s Nezumi...”  they stated, boredom dripping from each word.  
  
Safu’s face scrunched into a fiery mix of anger and disgust.  
  
“That’s Nezumi…” she spat.

"...and this is Saf..."

"I don't need an introduction..." Nezumi interupted.  
  
Inukashi broke into a fit of laughter before the two could engage in another sour stare down.  
  
“I suppose not! I’m guessing you know her because she was around Shion when you were stalking him with that mechanical mouse of yours!” They stated confidently, their eyes flickering with the excitement of confronting the secretive and mysterious Nezumi.  
  
Nezumi flinched, his muscles stiffened as he tore his eyes away from the others.  
  
“Why would I stalk that airhead…? It would be a waste of my time…” he growled under his breath.  
  
“My dogs collect all sorts of information… though they didn’t recognise Shion as the guy you had been watching at first due to his ‘change in appearance’…” They smiled mischievously. “…Though it became _very_ obvious, _very_ quickly”  
  
Safu’s eyes were intensely analysing him as Nezumi returned his gaze to his ‘guests’. Her facial expression was hard and cold as her eyes scanned Nezumi’s behaviour and body language. Here eyebrows knitted together as she pulled Nezumi into another intense stare down.  
  
“You ruined his life.” she stated bluntly.  
  
Shock punched Nezumi in the chest, anger quickly spilled in, replacing the shock. Nezumi’s whole body flared with rage. Thoughts flurried through and clouded his mind as he began to spit back his own accusations.  
  
“Well obviously you left Shion to die alone in the correctional facility - which I’m sure you know now is the closest thing to hell in this world!” He hissed angrily at the girl in front of him.  
  
Safu's lips curled into a snarl.  
  
“You destroyed his future! I know you are the reason he got pulled from the special course program! Shion lost everything just because he met you!”  
  
Safu was taken back when she saw something snap behind the grey eyes. A flash of silver flickered in front of her chocolate eyes before she found herself pinned to the ground, her head being pulled up to face Inukashi and Rikiga’s shocked expressions. Cold metal was pressed to her throat, the weight of dark-haired man holding her down and restricting her movement. Safu felt the warm trickle of blood drip down her throat before she felt the sharp pain of the cut.  Her heart quickened as the blade refused to leave her throat. Fear clouded her thought, tears blurred her vision and her body trembled under the weight of the dark-haired man. A single question entered her thoughts, calming her mind into silence. _Why did you send me here Shion?_ The weight from her back lessened but her mind stayed empty, stuck in a fuzzy haze. Voices bubbled around her but she couldn't concentrate well enough to hear what any of them were saying. There was a deep enraged voice yelling, Safu guessed that the voice probably belonged to Nezumi. Safu identified Inukashi's voice as the voice that was yelling and arguing in frustration.

"Shion sent _her_ to _your_ address but _I_ am the one who has to babysit her?!"

Safu felt a sharp pain rip through her body. Inukashi had seemed nice enough when they'd met, but that one statement confirmed that they were just as cold as Nezumi and the rest of the citizens of West Block.

_Why did you send me here Shion?_

_How did you survive in this place where nobody loves you?_

 


	4. A Rat's Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to upload this chapter, I was knew what I wanted to happen but I was experiencing writers block. Enjoy! This story changes a lot from here.

_Frantic squeaks and tiny claws raking the floor caused Nezumi to jolt up-right in the early hours of the morning. His vision swirled from sitting up too quickly. Nezumi rubbed at his grey eyes to get rid of the blurriness and check for intruders or whatever the rats were making a commotion about. Instinctively his eyes found their way to the couch where Shion had decided to sleep that night. Before Nezumi could curse himself for checking on his airhead roommate rather than his own safety he realised that there was no one there. The thin blanket Shion had curled up under last night was gone, any signs that Shion had ever occupied the small living space were gone. His grey eyes darted around frantically in search of the white-haired boy. Nothing. As his feet dragged him through the small living space he soon found the blanket Shion had wrapped himself in during the previous night folded neatly on the floor. Nezumi’s heart picked up speed as he searched for Shion._  
  
 _Suddenly Inukashi whirled through the door like a hurricane, their face completely reflecting the panic and worry Nezumi was feeling. Their shoulders fell and rose as they struggled to draw in deep breaths._  
  
 _“My dogs… they saw…” They took a deep breath to compose themself “He must have finally snapped, he was headed for the correctional facility without a second thought.”_  
  
 _Nezumi’s face sunk in despair and his heart dropped. “What were you thinking Shion? How did you expect to pull this off?” Nezumi thought to himself. Nezumi’s gritted his teeth as his mind flicked back to the latest note from Shion’s mother. That Safu girl was in there and he had run off without a second thought. Unwanted jealously clawed at his heart as he came to the realisation that Shion had abandoned him, that Shion had chosen Safu over him in a heartbeat. “But has he kissed her before?” his mind questioned. Nezumi licked his lips lightly, but the taste of Shion didn’t taste as sweet as it had the night before._  
  
  
Nezumi was already mentally kicking himself before he had completely shaken himself out of his sleepy haze. _Why am I thinking about that stupid kiss again?_   He thought, his brain putting extra emphasis on ‘again’. _I’ve shared many pointless kisses with many pointless people before… why do I care so much about this one?_   
  
_Because Shion's life isn’t pointless._ His mind answered back.   
  
Nezumi growled at his own thoughts as he kicked the sheets he had entangled himself in off the small couch. Somehow sleeping on the couch instead of the bed helped Nezumi get to sleep. Three rats trotted along the dusty bookshelves and greeted their master with high pitched squeaks. Nezumi’s lip curled up slightly in acknowledgement.   
  
His faltering smile strengthened into a slight grin as he noted Shion’s coat strewn across the small coffee table. A weird pride had filled Nezumi’s recently absent mind as he wrestled the coat off the selfish Safu girl. He allowed himself to choke out a self-depreciating laugh as he realised how childish he had been as he smugly clung to Shion’s coat, victory evident in his uneasy smile. The smile didn’t leave his face as the tears threatened to fall, the smile seemed so wide, so fake that it was permanently plastered on his face. Not even the realisation that the stench of blood had overtaken and erased Shion’s scent from his coat could pull the unwanted smile off his face.   
  
Nezumi let his pale fingers trace the lining of the blood-soaked coat lightly, his touch interrupted by a bullet hole ever so often. The laughter that had filled the basement room not so long ago had vanished and the dogs that had taken a liking to Shion had returned to Inukashi. The presence of Shion was disappearing at a faster pace than Nezumi could handle, so he was grateful that he had stolen back the jacket, a physical reminder that Shion had been with him. But Nezumi couldn’t help feeling like he had let Shion down. Nezumi knew he had as many questions to ask Shion as Shion had asked, or at least had though about asking him.   
  
Nezumi snapped out of his thoughts as the sicken sounds of screams circled into the small basement room. Soon the sound of gunshots and a deep echoing boom of some destructive weapon drowned out the screams of the citizens of West Block.   
  
_The Man Hunt._  
  
Nezumi’s legs launched him forward to the door handle, double checking that it was locked. A few turns of the handle confirmed that it was locked. Nezumi ripped the super fibre cloth from under Shion’s coat and wrapped it tightly around himself as he proceeded to kill all the light from the few lamps he owned. The three rats curled into the super fibre cloth, shaking slightly.   
  
_How would Shion react to the manhunt?_ His mind questioned. _Would that be Shion’s breaking point?_ Nezumi shook his head. There’s no point in asking questions about a dead man, as well as he didn’t want to think about Shion ever breaking down or becoming a hollow shell like the rest of the people at West Block.   
  
Nezumi jumped as a hard knock on his door startled him out of his misery. The person on the other side of the door was wriggling the handle with urgency. The attempts to break in to Nezumi’s room were quite frantic but were unsuccessful, but they persisted. There was no way Nezumi was falling for this, for all he knew, it could be an official of No.6 wanting to pay him a visit. As the intensity of the situation drowned out the sounds of the manhunt outside, another thought sprung to his mind.   
  
_“That girl is probably here to take Shion’s coat away from you.”_ His mind hissed in his head angrily.   
  
_Or someone wants to seek refuge here during the manhunt_ he muttered back to his own thoughts.  
  
The metal of his knife flashed in front of him before he even registered that he had taken it out. Safu’s blood had stained the blade from their first encounter the previous day. Another hard knock erupted from the door followed by what sounded like a body crashing to the floor. Nezumi hadn’t realised that he had gotten up and started moving towards the door until his fingers gripped the cold metal of the door handle. Nezumi ripped open the door, his knife clasped tightly in his palm. All Nezumi’s muscles went rigid. The dark-haired boy didn’t even have time to jump back before the small, bloody frame of a familiar white-haired boy collapsed at his feet.


	5. Rivalry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to write this chapter, I've actually been writing ideas for two new Nezushi fics. (One multichapter reunion and another one-shot coffee shop au). I might actually wrap this fic up soon because there's not too much more to it.

Nezumi tried his best to suppress and ignore the onslaught of emotions Shion’s return had caused. Shion’s frail body was littered with bullet holes. Small clumps of white hair knotted together as some of the blood dried. As Nezumi collected the unconscious boy’s body in his arms, he hoped that he would be able to stop his own body from trembling so he could treat Shion properly. Shion’s cheek was pressed against his shoulder, his lips brushing the crook of his neck. Nezumi had an internal fight against himself to stop the blush threatening to appear on his face as he carried Shion’s light-weighted body to the small bed shoved against one of the walls of the room.

Nezumi set the vulnerable boy down and started his hunt for the ancient medical kit he had once stolen from the same boy he was intended to help. As he searched through the messy library he could hear the claws of his three rats scraping against the floor, eager to see the cheerful boy again. Nezumi did not hear Shion stir, this heightened his need to find that damn medical kit. Nezumi’s pale fingers turned over books and searched through the small living space they shared. Finally he found it, hidden beneath a pile of unread books, and snatched it into his hands as if he were afraid it would disappear. He returned quickly to the unconscious boy’s side where the three rats inspected him anxiously. Nezumi’s heart quickened as he noticed the amount of blood staining the sheets beneath Shion’s still form. He looked at his own clothes and saw that the boy had even bled through his own clothes and onto Nezumi’s in the short time the dark-haired man had carried him.

The rats helped Nezumi by navigating him to the wounds on Shion’s body that needed the most attention. He tore open the medial kit and began to sew the thin boy’s wounds shut. Eventually Shion stopped bleeding and his breathing became more even. The white-haired boy’s chest rose and sunk as he drew in proper breaths. After Nezumi finished the last of the stitches, he ran his pale fingers through Shion’s knotty mess of hair. Despite the tangles the white locks were soft to touch, maybe even softer than before he disappeared. Nezumi’s thumb skated mindlessly across the pale pink scar on Shion’s cheek as the grey-eyed boy tried to clear his thoughts.

_He looks like he dragged himself back here. Is he the same Shion that would welcome me home every evening? The same Shion who was excited by anything and everything? Has he changed? Why did he kiss me before he left? Did he tell himself there was no way he was going to survive?_

His mind drowned out his thoughts and gave Nezumi one remaining question.  
 _Me or Safu, who would he pick?_

The sound of Nezumi’s door being violently kicked ripped him from his thoughts. Nezumi was annoyed to meet Inukashi and Safu on the other side of his door.

“So I see the Man Hunt didn’t kill you.” The dark-haired male stated.

Safu’s eyes narrowed. “What a pity.” She spat back.

The two visitors eyes darted to the blood present on the door they had attempted to kick down as a shaggy dog pushed past Nezumi. The stray began barking at Shion’s resting form. Nezumi cursed at the dog giving it a sharp kick in the side which sent it retreating back to its master. Nezumi glanced back to see two shocked faces before he sat down on the side of the bed, taking Shion’s hand in his own and locking Safu into a hostile glare.

“Why are you here?” the rat questioned.

“He’s not yours!” Safu shouted angrily, ignoring the question and taking a couple of steps towards the two boys.

“Well…” Inukashi started only to be interrupted.

“Not officially.” The rat replied with a devious smirk.

Safu scowled at him, closing the space between her and Shion as she reached out to stroke his hair softly. Nezumi was tempted to growl at her or bite her like he was one of Inukashi’s mutts. Nezumi watched the brown-haired girl run her fingers through his hair affectionately. Shion subconsciously responded to the touch by inhaling a deep breath and exhaling slowly.

She didn’t turn to Nezumi when she quietly repeated, “He’s not yours.”

Nezumi's possessiveness boiled over and the shouting began after Nezumi growled something along the lines of _“He’s not yours because he’s already rejected you.”_

Inukashi watched the two hurl insults at each other. Venomous words poured out of the mouths of both Safu and Nezumi for what felt like hours. Somewhere in the chaos; a book was thrown, one of Inukashi’s dogs started barking and all three of Nezumi’s rats scampered away to escape the noise. The continuous shouting was only halted because somehow both Safu and Nezumi heard the small whimper that escaped Shion’s lips above the commotion. Nezumi spun on his heels to find the white-haired boy curled in on himself with his hands clamped down tightly over both ears. Forgetting the miniature war he was having with Safu, Nezumi knelt down beside Shion and gently coaxed one of his hands off his ear. Shion’s ruby eyes were only seen for a few seconds before he squeezed his eyes tightly shut and groaned.

“Too loud, too bright.” he muttered.

Nezumi chuckled, ignoring Safu’s sudden appearance beside him and ignoring the fact that Shion was still loosely holding the hand Nezumi had used to remove Shion’s hand from his face. Out of the corner of his eye Nezumi could see jealously wash over Safu’s features. She shot a glare at Nezumi promising a continuation of the earlier argument as Shion laid on the bed with his eyes closed curling his fingers around Nezumi’s.

“Come back to Inukashi’s hotel so I can take care of you.” Safu said in a monotoned voice, “or I can stay here the night to check on you?”

“You don’t live here?” Shion questioned breathlessly.

“No.” all three teenagers said in sync.

Shion simply hummed in reply to convey his confusion without using words.

“This is my house, who says you can stay here?” Nezumi asked Safu, trying to keep his voice as level as possible to make sure Shion didn’t flinch from the noise and to make sure Shion wouldn’t pick up on Nezumi’s hatred towards his childhood friend.

“I have basic first aid and medical knowledge.” She stated.

“I think these stitches are ok.” Shion said before Nezumi could say anything, his eyes open a fraction. His finger lightly ran over one of the wounds that had been sewn shut.

“I’m glad his majesty is content with my handy work.” Nezumi said in a playful voice. It was guaranteed to annoy Safu.

Safu narrowed her eyes at the nickname.

“I’ll stay with you at Inukashi’s soon.” Shion assured her.

“You’ll have to pay.” Inukashi added, their arms crossed.

The brunette seemed content with this promise. She quickly hugged the recovering boy before finally leaving with Inukashi to the relief of Nezumi. Nezumi looked over Shion as the white-haired boy nestled into the lumpy pillows. Jealously churned his stomach as he replayed the simple promise in his head over and over again.

 

_I’ll stay with you at Inukashi’s soon_

 

 

_Two years from now, ask me again._


	6. Interrogation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late upload, I have no clue how to end this story. OOPS.

Nezumi constantly had to restrain himself from interrogating Shion while he was still weak during his recovery. For the first few days Shion had barely moved, leaving Nezumi to sleep on the lumpy couch which he did not enjoy. But now six days had passed and Shion was able to move around without too much pain or stiffness and he could stomach most foods again.

Shion had finally managed to convince Safu that it was best to leave before it got too dark, explaining that West Block is even less forgiving at night. The door slammed shut behind Safu and Nezumi snap shut the book he had been pretending to read, making Shion jump. Nezumi drove the injured boy against the wall, boxing him in with his hands pressed against the cool concrete behind them on either side of Shion’s head. Nezumi adopted a mild scowl as he looked down at Shion who appeared to be a little unsettled and nervous.  
  
“Nezumi?” The white haired boy choked out anxiously.  
  
“Why did you run off? You didn’t even take a second to think about what might happen or what you would be facing in the Correctional Facility!” Nezumi stated in a harsh voice.  
  
“If I had waited Safu could have been dead when I got there. Then I would have thrown myself in danger for nothing.” Shion replied with wavering confidence.  
  
“You did throw yourself into danger for nothing.”  
  
“Nezumi, we both survived. It wasn’t for nothing.” Shion said, his voice taking on an almost whiny tone.  
  
“Why did you send her to me anyway? I’m not just a babysitter for No.6’s outcasts.”  
  
“I never said you were.” Shion sighed. “Besides she’s intelligent, honest, can defend herself and she doesn’t have a shred of ‘airheadedness’ in her - she wouldn’t be a burden.”  
  
Nezumi clicked his tongue in irritation. He should have known that calling Shion a burden wasn’t just going to bounce off him.  
  
“Intelligence won’t do her any good here unless it’s street smarts, she might be able to defend herself if it was one-on-one but that’s not how West Block works - thats not how life works, - her honesty irritates me and therefore makes her a burden to be around.” Nezumi explained in a bored voice.  
  
"Don’t I irritate you as we-" he started.  
  
“No!” Nezumi cut in angrily. He composed himself and elaborated. “It’s not the same.”  
  
"But-"  
  
Nezumi muffled Shion’s reply with his right hand, His left hand was still pressed against the wall beside Shion’s head. The hand on the wall was close enough to Shion that if it were possible to have a draft blow through the underground bunker Shion’s white hair would brush against Nezumi’s pale skin. Shion remained silent when Nezumi withdrew his hand again. Shion lips had been warm against his hand and his hand felt icy at the sudden absence of the temporary warmth.  
  
“You thought you would die.” Nezumi said as both a statement and a question.  
  
Shion spoke slowly, “I knew it was very likely… yes.”

"THEN WHY-" Nezumi cut himself off, he had already asked that question.

An important question was pressing against Nezumi's tongue. Nezumi didn’t know how to bring _it_ up in a way that wouldn’t convey how desperately he wanted to know why Shion did it. He wanted clarity, he wanted confirmation. If he tried to dance around what he wanted to know Shion probably wouldn’t catch on or understand. Nezumi’s brain just jumped straight to the point.  
  
“What was up with that kiss before you disappeared?”  
  
Nezumi had said the question a lot more aggressively than he intended. Shion seemed to sink further back against the wall. Red-eyes scanned the room behind Nezumi, searching for an escape. Nezumi quickly cupped Shion’s face with his free hand, forcing him to look Nezumi in the eyes just before the white-haired boy could attempt to dive under the taller male’s arm. Shion looked terrified. He exhaled a shaky breath and brought a scarred hand up to loosely remove Nezumi’s hand from his face.  
  
“Tell me.”  
  
Shion looked down at his feet. He moved his hands behind his back as he pressed himself against the cold wall behind him.  
  
“It was the only chance I had.” Shion said softly, not daring to remove his eyes from the ground.  
  
“What does that mean?” Nezumi asked, genuinely confused.  
  
Shion stiffened and spoke defensively, “You talk about sex and kissing like you do it with every other person, I didn’t think it would matter.”  
  
“And you talk about sex and kissing like it is the most sacred thing in the world so I thought it meant something.”  
  
“I do and it did.” Shion sighed, “I do think it shouldn’t be something you do with everyone and it did mean something but that doesn’t matter because I’m alive.”  
  
Shion’s mood shifted but his eyes conveyed his desperation to change topic. Nezumi was dying to know what it meant but Shion didn’t look like he was going to budge, actually the white-haired boy looked like he would be happy to die right then and there. Nezumi nodded, reserving that question for another day and loosened his features into a neutral expression again. Shion exhaled loudly and started to move out of Nezumi’s entrapment. Nezumi used his hands to pin Shion’s shoulders to the cold wall behind him. He was closer than he had been before, he could feel Shion’s anxious breaths blow gently on his lips. Nezumi ignored the sudden intimacy he had created. He had one more question for Shion to answer before he slipped away.  
  
“What about your promise to Safu?”  
  
“What?”  
  
Nezumi rolled his eyes, but he was secretly relieved; if Shion couldn’t remember the promise obviously it wasn’t that important to him.  
  
“Safu wanted to have sex with you and you told her to ask you in two years.” Nezumi reminded Shion.  
  
“Oh, I’ll go through with it, I guess.”  
  
Nezumi had to stop himself from clicking his tongue in irritation, that was not the answer he wanted. _Why was he annoyed by Shion’s answer? Why was he trying to get Shion to not go through with his promise? Why does it matter so goddamn much?_

“But you don’t want to?”  
  
“It’s not that straight forward Nezumi.”  
  
“If you don’t want to do it th-then don’t”  
  
Nezumi couldn’t fight the blush that was burning his cheeks. He hadn’t meant to stammer but he wasn’t expecting his lips to brush Shion’s mid-sentence. Neither of the boys had realised that they had both gotten closer. Nezumi shuffled back and Shion pushed himself back against the wall again, they were still closer than they had been at the start of the interrogation.  
  
Nezumi pivoted sharply and quickly retreated to the sofa, snatching up his copy of Hamlet on the way past.  
  
“She can’t force you to do these things you know.” He called over his shoulder before hiding his face between the pages of the Shakespeare novel, pretending to already be deeply captivated by the text on the off-white pages.  
  
Shion remained against the wall for a brief moment, his cheeks dusted pink, most likely a very dumb expression drawn on his face before deciding that now was as good as any time to start dinner. The white-haired boy kept his back to Nezumi as he waited for the water to bubble.

Although the hope in his heart was the tiniest shred of hope, it was heavier than anything he could imagine. His wishing that Nezumi reciprocated even a shred of his feelings caused his heart to slowly sink in his chest just as the first bubbles started floating to the surface of the water.


	7. Safu's Proposal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOLLY GOSH I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER TO GET UPLOADED. I've been super lazy and writers block decided to be my friend. Happy New Years and Merry Christmas (yes I know I'm very late for the christmas one). Chapter 7: My gift to you.

The first thing Nezumi did when he returned from his day at the theatre was order Safu to get out. The dark-haired male didn’t want to have to deal with anyone right now. The brunette complied obediently, sending Shion one last glance before softly closing the door beside her.  
  
Shion was sitting on the couch, pulling harshly at his bangs as his eyes burned holes into the library shelf in front of him. He looked as if his brain was in overdrive as he completely lost himself in thought. At some point the white haired boy noticed Nezumi’s presence, sending him a quick smile before his face and mind fell back to it’s serious state. Nezumi swallowed back a sigh.  
  
“Did Safu tell you that the boogey-man is real?” the dark haired boy asked in a mocking tone.  
  
Shion scrunched his nose up at the comment.  
  
“No.” He simply said.  
  
Grey eyes rested on red-eyes that flickered to look in every direction but Nezumi’s. When he didn’t elaborate the dark-haired boy disappeared into the dusty library, leaving the white-haired boy to loose himself in his thoughts.  
  
***  
  
Nezumi’s stomach was still empty, as it usually was, when the lights went out. The cold of the wall seeped through his clothes softly touching the surface of his skin. The boy that lay beside him seemed to be positioned defensively as he curled in on himself. The thin sheets tangled loosely with his legs as the smaller boy hugged his stomach tightly. His figure shook slightly in the darkness.  
  
_He could be in pain._ Nezumi’s mind stated. _Or he could just be cold._  
  
Nezumi lazily propped himself up on his elbow. Charcoal bangs hung in front of his face as he hovered over Shion. Nezumi was taken back when he saw a scarred hand clamped down over Shion’s mouth. The boy had his eyes shut tightly but the dark-haired male could still see the glistening tears that had been trapped between his pale eyelashes.  
  
Nezumi’s hand brushed over Shion’s upper arm, startling the white-haired boy. His eyes shot open and the tears pooled onto the lumpy pillow beneath him. Without removing his hand, Shion turned his face away from Nezumi’s gaze.  
  
“Is this the same thing that had you acting weirdly earlier today.”  
  
The body beside him trembled as the boy cried silently. Nezumi squeezed the boys shoulder.  
  
“Come on Shion, talk to me.” Nezumi asked, “Please?” He added as an after thought.

The boy didn’t respond, he was too busy trying to control his crying. Nezumi swung one of his legs over the white-haired boy’s body, one hand positioned flat against the solid mattress beneath him for stability. He slowly pried Shion’s hand away from his mouth and rolled him over so he was staring up into his grey eyes. Shion’s eyes were swollen and red as he was captured in Nezumi’s concerned gaze.  
  
“You can tell me.” Nezumi encouraged in a sweet tone.  
  
Shion looked away doubtfully, biting his bottom lip. Nezumi almost choked when the urge to kiss Shion hit him hard.  
  
“Shion.” he said ignoring the thoughts in his head that were evaluating the different outcomes of kissing the white-haired boy beneath him.  
  
"I-" Shion started, his voice breaking on the one word. He swallowed back sobs in order to try to speak normally.  
  
“I… don’t want… to have sex with Safu…”  
  
_That made me way happier than it should have_ Nezumi hissed at himself silently.  
  
“But she really wants me to go through with it.” he said, his breathing still shaky.  
  
“She also suggested that… we… me and her… should save up for our own place… in West Block.” He continued.  
  
_What?!_  
  
“And what did you say to her?” Nezumi asked a little too quickly.  
  
Shion laughed between sobs. He smiled weakly as the tears streamed down his face.  
  
“I told her that I didn’t think I could survive without your survival instincts.” Shion wiped away the tears that kept flowing. “What a ridiculous thing to say to something like that.”  
  
“It’s probably true.” Nezumi commented with a roll of his eyes and a small smile on his face.  
  
He was now resting his weight on his forearm, he was a lot closer to Shion than before and a lot more comfortable for Nezumi's arm. He used his other to press away tears from Shion’s face with his thumb. The scene of Nezumi kissing Shion was playing in his head as the white-haired boy calmed down.  
  
Nezumi was about to speak when Shion continued.  
  
“I don’t know. You just-“ His voice cut off, his eyes darted to patterns of the mattress, “You just seem like you’d pretend I didn’t exist if I left.”  
  
Nezumi could have sworn he heard his own heart shatter. Disbelief washed over his face. Shion continued to study the mattress beneath him as Nezumi laid there, shell-shocked.

 _So no one told him about the state I was in when I thought he was dead?_   His mind questioned.

He was a little relieved that no one had told him.  
  
Nezumi realised that he probably _would_ act like he didn’t care if Shion chose to stay with Safu over living with him. That’s the reaction he would have created for the world to see. He wouldn’t want anyone to see the jealously he would feel. He wouldn’t want anyone to see how he was heartbroken because he was second best to Safu. He knew he wouldn’t visit the two, he hated seeing Safu and he hated seeing Shion _with_ Safu. Nezumi came to the conclusion that it would appear that he would be pretending Shion didn’t exist if he left.  
  
Nezumi knew he didn’t want Shion to leave. He couldn’t answer truthfully about how he would act if he did leave without hurting Shion, he couldn’t answer truthfully without telling him how he really felt.  
  
Fat tears were starting to fall down Shion's cheeks again as he burried his face into the single pillow they shared, shying away from Nezumi’s gaze.  
  
Nezumi couldn’t use words to answer Shion. Pale fingers hooked under Shion’s chin, forcing his gaze back up to Nezumi’s eyes. Confusion flashed over Shion’s face and before Nezumi could realise what he was doing he softly pressed their lips together. Nezumi gently traced Shion’s bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. Nezumi was glad that he could taste the sweetness of Shion instead of the salty taste of tears. He deepened the kiss for a second before withdrawing and ending the kiss. Nezumi hugged Shion tightly so he wouldn’t have to see the smaller boys face. Nezumi’s body heated up and was now drenched with hormones. Nezumi couldn’t stop the onslaught of images that filled his head, pinning Shion to the bed beneath them, capturing both of the boys wrists above his head and kissing him until he was breathless. Nezumi heart raced at the thought. Shion buried his face into Nezumi shoulder as he refused to let go of the smaller boy.  
  
Shion’s tears had stopped now and both boys quickly fell asleep as soon as their hearts slowed down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just BTW it wasn't an open mouth kiss.


End file.
